I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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