never play flip cup with pint glasses
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
