I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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