I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
