If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
