I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
