i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
