my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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