Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
