my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
