i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
