Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
