I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
