i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
