her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize