I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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