Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
