And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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