Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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