He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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