I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
