Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
