She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
barbara walters just said penis...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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