hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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