I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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