Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
