Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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