I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
