In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
