jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
