This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
