this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
