sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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