Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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