I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
