I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
