My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
