So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
