11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Randomize
