You just made me feel so damn special
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
