24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
