hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want to be your penis for a week.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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