I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
