i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
