As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
