i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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