your room smells of hookers.
And success
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
