I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
