No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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