I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1046 607 share tweet
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize