Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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