nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
