guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
