My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
porn star boner night. come get it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
