I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
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i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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