Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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