Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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